14 People Admit to the Worst Crime They Committed When They Were Kids

littlekids

Kids don’t know how great they’ve got it – free room and board, free food, and access to a credit card that isn’t even theirs’. While there are many great perks, it also comes with its stresses, and kids are often underestimated by their superiors. How does a 9 year old file a complaint against a teacher under-performing at their job anyway?

With learning about the world and its stresses, it may take a while before they fully register what crimes is. Below are stories about kids who all turned to crime, only to either regret what they had done later. Well, actually, some of these kids are probably bonafide criminals now after those stories. Courtesy of Reddit, here are the confessions of __ people who committed crimes as kids.

 

1. Theft. I stole a game of battleship from a day care, ship by ship and then colored peg by peg. They just thought we kept losing the pieces because we were kids. I don’t know what I expected to do with all the pieces because there was no way I could steal the boards without notice.

 

2. Theft. I stole $500 and a Chapstick from my dads wallet and put it into my Darth Vader piggy bank and he figured it out pretty quickly when he noticed the Chapstick on the floor of my room. Upon looking in my piggy bank and finding the 5 $100 bills, I told him it was from allowance, even though he never gave allowance.

 

3. Arson. I was playing with matches setting a newspaper on fire. It was pretty windy and the whole newspaper started blowing around. Grabbed a cardboard refrigerator box and stomped on the fire till I thought it was out.

Well the box caught fire, the wind picked up the embers and sent them up into a tree (right behind my grade school). Tree went on fire and set the next one on fire.

I ran, heard the fire engines and hid in my house for the rest of the weekend. That Monday I had to line up in the school yard, stared at those 2 burnt out trees for almost 3 months before they cut them down.

 

4. Assault. Cut my younger half-sisters hair while she was asleep. Also my first memory is of her dad holding me down and shaving me bald as punishment for that.

 

5. Theft. My friend wanted to see a nude magazine. Being little kids, naturally he couldn’t buy one over the counter anywhere. So he prodded and talked me into stealing a dirty magazine from the local used bookstore. I had no idea where they kept the dirty magazines. My friend said in the rear of the store. I went there and saw a magazine with a large breasted, but clothed woman pictured on the cover. I grabbed it. Stuffed it under my shirt and brought it to my friend. My friend complained it was the wrong magazine. It wasn’t a dirty magazine. Just a regular one. He wanted me to go back in there and grab a playboy. I refused to do it a second time.

 

6. Theft. There was this family that lived next to my grandparents. And they moved but I guess had a small car so they would leave bags outside of the house, pick some up and come back. Well there was a black bag full of toys and I took it before they had a chance to come back for it.

 

7. Public Indecency. I was walking in the hall to the bathroom in first grade, and I thought I would save time by pulling my penis out before I got to the bathroom. In front of a teacher and a cop.

8. Attempted Murder. I tried to kill my step father with a knife when he was sleeping because he kept abusing me and my lil’ brother. He woke up and beat me and sent me to the ER. He was later thrown in prison when he was throwing my 3 year old brother against the wall. My real mom who lied to the cops about him was also in jail. They are still together and started a whole new family.

 

9. Theft. My sister once stole the collection plate from church as a toddler. Some was say she was too young to realize the implications of what she did but her current gold digger attitude tends to make me disagree.

 

10. Destruction of Property. Hit a baseball at a car windshield and broke it. Usain Bolted the hell outta the scene, but then my dad found out about it and made me fess up to the owner. The owner was a good sport and let me off the hook. My dad however, made sure to pay him to cover the repair costs, and took my allowance away for a while.

 

11. Breaking and Entering. Broke into the neighbors house WHILE THEY WERE HOME because I thought I could be like Harriet The Spy. I even brought a composition book with me.

 

12. Destruction of Federal Property. There was a park near my house that had once been a civil war fort. We found this really cool giant piece of quartz that we decided to dig up and bring home. Turns out it was grave marker for a mass grave of Union soldiers. Oops.

 

13. Burglary. When I was about 6, my friend and I broke into my neighbor’s house through an open window and stole his dog. I really wanted a dog and my parents wouldn’t let me so my friend and I were convinced we could steal my neighbor’s dog and keep it a secret from my parents. We actually got the dog all the way back home and were discussing what to name him when my mom caught us. I’m still so ashamed by this.

 

14. Public indecency. I took a shit on my neighbor’s doormat. They never knew it was me.