With jobs like insurance adjusters, pool maintenance, home healthcare, etc., you are CONSTANTLY going into the homes of strangers. This exposes you to the inner sanctum of stranger’s homes and with each home visit you get a glimpse of just how weird those neighbors are behind closed doors. Some people go to extreme lengths to hide their weirdness and others get off on exposing it when someone knocks on the front door. Below, a bunch of people whose jobs take them into the homes of strangers shared stories on Reddit of the weirdest, creepiest, most F’d up things they’ve ever seen in the field and I’m suddenly thanking my lucky Stars and Stripes that my job allows me to work from home.
1. I’m a pool guy, I go into people’s backyards to clean their pools. One week, it was a 4 day week due to a holiday, so I’m not going on the scheduled days, I’m cramming 5 days of work into a 4 day week.
It’s a hot summer day, and I walk into the backyard of this house, get through both gates, and I’m met with an odd sight. These 2 kids, maybe 14 or 15, are absolutely butt ass naked, cuddled on a poolside recliner. I look at them, they look at me. I immediately turn around and they run inside.
I see the owners all the time, but I’ve never seen these kids before. Next week I go, the wife was outside, and we started chit chatting. I ask her if she’s had any visitors recently, she says no. I let her know that I saw some kids in her backyard, and she cut me off. She says, “Yeah, suprised you haven’t met them, lemme introduce you.”
They were brother and sister. They canceled service within 2 months.
2. My neighbor once asked me to feed his cat for him while he was out of town. Nice guy, mid 30s, lived alone, ran his own landscaping company. He would sometimes cut our grass for us when he was out cutting his on his huge landscaping mower. So I mean, yeah, of course I’ll feed your cat for a few days.
Bible verses were written in red marker on every inch of every mirror in his house, and there were an odd amount of mirrors. Like, multiple full-length mirrors in just his living room, absolutely covered in tiny red Bible verses. I never really looked at him the same after that. It’s one thing to be religious. That was something entirely different.
3. I’m in insurance restoration, we deal with houses that have caught on fire, or any insurance problem, really. Long story short, a woman’s house catches on fire. Woman has a deep freezer in the garage with the body of every cat she has ever owned since the 80’s….Guess who stumbled upon it, after the power had been out for a week?
4. “Dead body” might not really be surprising, here, but I still cant eat certain foods after experiencing it, and certain smells make me sick, too.
I was working for a condo building, letting air conditioning guys look at units within condos. I was just a key holder. One of the last units of the day was a condo, knocked on the door, no answer, opened the door, immediate waft of foul smell. Just some rotten eggs, maybe?
Enter the unit, see some moldy bread on the counter, sweaty looking cake (condensation) on the stove. “Its pretty fuckin rank in here” I say to the guys. I look into the bedroom and see an older black woman with kindof a bad blonde dye job, hunched over in bed, in a bit of a yoga pose? (“sat up” in bed, but head at feet, legs crossed) Im immediately embarrassed. “Sorry ma’am, I didnt know you were home!” I said.
No movement. I take a step closer. “Ma’am?”
“Shes fuckin dead, dude.” One of the air conditioning guys says, as he hurries out of the unit. His only evidence is the smell, and my tone of voice when I said “Ma’am?” I step a little closer, the womans skin is “bruised” and has mouldy patches on it. This is not a “yoga pose”, this is a “settling in to the bed” pose.
Some facts I later learned from the police: Shes a young caucasian blonde woman (i.e. not an older black woman). Last diary entry 10 days prior, pill bottles and last will and testament on the bedside table. Food I cant eat: wonton soup (first thing I tried to eat, 8 hours later). Smell I cant handle: dirty fridge (e.g. mouldy items left by careless coworker) I also no longer fantasize about how cool the zombie apocalypse would be.
Also I got the employee of the month award, and a $100 gift certificate. Though, it was admittedly a slow month.
5. I used to volunteer for a wildlife rescue and did a pickup at a very elderly woman’s house where she had found a baby bird. When I got there she carefully uncovered it from the towel she’d placed it in, and it was just a chestnut.
6. Back when I was a door-to-door salesman, I had a bunch of odd experiences, ranging from the mildly odd to the terrifying.
1) One dude decided to give me a tour of the giant backyard shed he used for fermenting wine. It was actually pretty interesting, he explained a lot about how he did it and what it was like running a home winery. Didn’t buy anything from me, though.
2) One dud did buy stuff from me, waited until I stepped out to print him his receipt, and was waiting for me wearing nothing but a (very short) bathrobe. That just so happened to fall open as he was receiving his receipt. He then asked if I’d like to stay for coffee. I did not stay for coffee.
3) One dude invited me in, waited until I’d walked into his front room, then locked the door and blocked the doorway. He then just started screaming at me. He was screaming about how “You’re right out of school, right, and you think you know FUCKING EVERYTHING, and you don’t know SHIT. You’re just a NAIVE FUCKING IDIOT, and YOU THINK YOU KNOW THE WORLD-”
This went on for five minutes. He never physically touched me, but he screamed at me the entire time and it was fucking terrifying. Eventually he let me leave “God, just leave” and I bolted out of there like a bat out of hell. I still wonder what the hell that guy’s deal was.
7. Few years ago I was volunteering with the city council helping people clean their houses after the neighborhood I lived in had been flooded. One house belonged to a Chinese couple who ran the local convenience store. They had asked our crew to help remove water damaged carpet from the ground floor rooms of their house so it could be thrown away.
As we were removing this carpet, we realised that it ran in one piece under a closed door and into a locked room, so we asked the lady of the house if she wanted us to cut it off at the door and leave whatever was in the locked room behind, or if she wanted to open the room and have us remove the carpet in there also. She responded, “I’ll check with my husband what to do. That’s his special room.”
This lead to some nervously puzzled looks from our crew. What does a middle aged Chinese man who owns a convenience store keep in his “special room”?
Eventually the wife came back with a set of keys and told us that we could remove the carpet in the room and she unlocked the door. We all crowded around as the door opened to reveal…
A room with carpet up the walls, a mirror ball on the ceiling, a stage at one end with a PA standard sound system, a projector, and in the corner just about the fanciest karaoke machine I’d ever seen. Special room indeed.
8. For 20 years, I’ve spent my summers designing home theater systems. After the installers finish, I go by the house a few days later to check on things. Fully 75% of the time I hit play on the DVD player, porn starts playing. (And yet I forget to check before hitting play, every damn time. Not sure who’s dumber. Me or the clients.)
Oh… and the recent one… Went by the client’s house to do the usual check-in. He showed me his “Wall of Heroes” in the foyer. It consisted of framed, autographed pictures of Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, and Henry Lee Lucas. (And a few others I’m forgetting.) Plus some framed letters from them.
9. I used to install Dish Network for a living.
I was installing for an elderly lady, who complained that her “sister’s” TV always showed the same thing hers did. I had a 2 TV installation order so I figured that would be OK.
I finished the installation and was demonstrating the system when she looked at the full length mirror and complained that her sister’s TV was still showing the same thing.
Noped out of there as quick as I could, and left notes on the account in case she called in.
10. My wife is a Physical Therapist who does home health visits. She has seen some shit. Several hoarders. People who have bizarrely huge collections of curios like snow globes, crosses, and one lady who had a disturbingly huge collection of Princess Diana memorabilia. Several old guys who tried to subtly proposition her for sexual favors. Then there was the one old guy who was recovering from a knee replacement and flat out said something like, “I haven’t had a blowjob in like 20 years. Is that something you do?”
There was a lady who had experienced a stroke and had lost a good chunk of her impulse control as well as mobility on one side of her body. Every single time my wife saw her, there were two dildos on her kitchen counter, in plain view of the living room where my wife worked with the patient.
11. I used to do pest control. While baiting a house for roaches I made my way to their bathroom…and on top of the toilet tank there was a decorative bowl. Nothing out of the ordinary right? Well the bowl wasn’t full of extra tp or washcloths… it was full of white-cheddar cheeto puffs.
12. Boiler repairs… 4 sons in the house, playing xboxs, all mentally ill, rooms two foot deep in takeaway trays. A duck and a rat loose in the other room, the mother was just in her underwear with a fresh kidney transplant scar around her middle, the hot pipe had snapped off the washing machine and was running the combi boiler flat out, she had tied the pipe into the sink,’ How longs it been like that for ‘I said… ‘About 6 weeks,’ she said, the bottom had dropped out of the wall units because of the steam. The carpet in the duck/rat room was sodden with piss and crap. I went into the lads rooms, they never flinched or acknowledged me, one was holding the controller but the tv was off.
13. A guy I work with used to do landscaping. As you can well imagine, he met all sorts of people. One client (who they later found out had a history of mental instability and violent crime) took out a gun and pointed it at him one time, without provocation (he was on his land entirely legally, as it was a business meeting).
Now, this coworker is HUGE. He is at least 6’6″, and goes to the gym most days after work. He also wrestled in high school. He is a really nice and quiet guy, but you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT want to piss him off.
Anyway, he ripped the gun out of the guy’s hands and thumped him in the face with the stock. He called the police and the guy went to jail. I don’t know how long he is in for, but it was not a short sentence.